by Kerry on March 24, 2010
What is it they say about hindsight? 20/20 i think…meaning if you could see clearly how something would turn out ahead of time, you would have done it that way in the first place. But who see’s it clearly the first time?
We’ve all moved. If you live on Martha’s Vineyard then chances are you’ve moved quite a bit. Winter rentals to summer rentals, year round to hopefully, your own home. I’ve lived here 11 years and have moved more than 10 times. I’m not sure what the exact number is, but one year alone I moved 4 times. They call it the seasonal shuffle. I call it hell.
Amazingly I’d forgotten exactly how awful it was over the 7 years that I’ve owned my own home. During that time I have been in nesting mode…collecting linens and bedding, old furniture that I’ve salvaged from the trash and things that people have generously given to me. I own multiple dish sets, innumerable coffee mugs, and have a room full of “projects” that I would get to some day. Sewing, mending, sanding and painting…
I also own more clothing and shoes than I could wear if I changed outfits 4 times a day for a solid year. When I moved here from the city I brought my clothing “collection”. My suits and sweaters and heels. Dresses and dress pants, blazers, scarves and nylon stockings. Clothing so completely inappropriate for island life it bears mentioning that I have an unusual attachment to garments and accessories. Even when years had gone by and none of them were worn I hung on. My husband had to build a special closet for me in the basement of our house, and I would visit often with nostalgia and the occasional try-on session.
I know now that my attachment and collecting had less to do with wanting, and more to do with identity. Leaving my country and moving here was fearful, and my stuff became security. Like wearing a life jacket on a sailboat, my things were going to keep me safe and comforted. I would be protected form drowning by hanging on to my chair/jacket/boots.
It may have taken me longer than most to get to the bottom of my little hoarding issue, but it has taken me months to make a dent in the accumulation. I have been slow with the dissemination. Occasionally putting aside things to give away,only to go back and pick through them with uncertainty and a little fear.
Our pending move was the deciding factor…it was time to make some changes and let go.
I don’t know how I managed to move so many times without accepting the inevitable. My need for stuff, things, far-off projects and trinkets was more compulsion than want. I do love stuff, lots of different types of stuff, but I need piece of mind more. And so began my last adventure with moving and purging, letting go and clearing out.
Most of this is happening after the fact. Though I did do a preliminary sweep a few months back and packed up boxes of vases, photos and nick knacks (ew!) Oddly, within weeks more stuff reappeared in place of the things I had put away. Not that I was buying new things, I just had so many things that they were revealing themselves in their corners and appeared to be multiplying!
The big eye opener was moving into a new house having only packed a few outfits and some cutlery. As the days passed and our “real” moving day loomed, I realized that I did not miss or crave anything more than I had with me. We had a few dishes and the furniture…if everything else had disappeared we wouldn’t have noticed.
I have now been going back and forth from the old house to the new for weeks, each time with more clutter to bring from my old home into my new one. Unpacking the boxes and bags is like putting on a dozen sweaters at once. I’m all bogged down and I just want to be free.
So now, after the fact, after the move, I am purging and de-cluttering. I’ve given away trash bags full of clothing and shoes to friends and neighbors. I’ve new tenants moving into my old house and was able to leave behind an entire kitchen’s worth of stuff. I’ve moved into a house twice the size, and have half the stuff.
On the next move, and there will be another, I will clear out before I move on…leaving the clutter and heaviness behind. Hopefully there will be much less of it, and moving will take half the time, half the effort, and result in twice the satisfaction. I finally feel safe enough to let go.
by Kerry on February 16, 2010
In a word…travel.
All the buzz is on where you’ve been and where you are going. If you don’t have any travel plans for February or March you are greeted with a look akin to pity mixed with confusion. NOBODY stays all winter without a break. Nobody in their right mind that is…so I guess I have a new title to own. crazy. It won’t be my first spin on the crazymobile, and doubtfully my last.
As energized and calamitous the summer months are, the winter is the opposite. Lethargic and empty, the pace is so slowed that you wonder if its the same place.The beaches are deserted and too cold and windy to walk. The restaurants and stores are mostly closed. Those glorious summer homes by the ocean are all boarded up and look like they may be haunted. The year round population has gone indoors, waiting for the sun to return.
Today it is 40 degrees out, last week’s snow has turned to slush and the skies are gray. If this sounds familiar and you are experiencing the same weather patterns in your area, imagine the scene without any people. Deserted and so quiet that you can hear the drawn out call of the foghorn from every point on the island.
It’s at this time of the year that the people who miss out on summer because they work through it get antsy to travel south and see what the commotion of having a beach side vacation is all about. Vacation by the beach? Novel idea! Last year my family and I traveled to St John, USVI and were amazed by the Vineyarders that we came across. I wrote A Tale of Two Islands about that trip.
This year I’ve spoken to a half dozen people who will be headed to St John. I have friends going to the snow, the beach and the mountains. Some are cruising so they get a whole variety of travel experiences and some go to Boston to stay in a hotel. I don’t have many who are staying here. Those who are could be classified in two camps…the ones who actually NEVER leave the island (you know who you are) and the rest of us who are too broke to go…
Throughout my 11 years as a year rounder on the Vineyard I have felt varying degrees of crazy as my world got smaller and smaller and the permanence of my decision sank in… but I have to ask myself, Am I crazy to be grateful for my life today and the abundance of peace and serenity that eluded me elsewhere? Anyone who knows me knows that I am no stranger to crazy. Somehow this visit to “out of your mind” doesn’t feel wrong at all. Sacrifices are easier when you are happy, so I will travel in my little head and read some books for vacation this year.
Happy trails.
by Kerry on February 5, 2010
Something odd is going on around here. And it is even beyond the scope of our temporary bridge that was built while our permanent bridge is being built (ha!). Seriously, even more confusing is the construction actvity that is either feast or famine, depending on what side of the water you live.
There are huge construction projects underway right now on Martha’s Vineyard. Multiple bridges, a YMCA and a hospital no less. The confusing part is that none of these projects are employing island residents.
Baffling. We are in the middle of a recession. The bulk of Martha’s Vineyard’s work force is made up of laborers who work in construction. Despite the inflated cost of living , we consistently underpay our residents well below the state average for wages. The final blow… there is no work because it is winter AND a major recession, yet hundreds of new jobs have opened up and none of them are available to the people who live here.
The town that I live in is so over budget that we are cutting services and eliminating jobs. Our schools and therefore our children, are absorbing the cost.
How come we have these massive building projects but the island is not benefiting from the process. Ultimately we will have a great new activity complex, a new hospital and a few new bridges, but where is the income from employing laborers on these jobs?
What would seem like a building boon is deceptive. I am no urban planner, and I certainly am a novice at understanding the qualifications required to build a hospital, but it seems to me that we could have given the work to the local contractors.
I am trying to wrap my mind around the fact that the skill required to build these buildings and bridges was simply beyond what our labor pool was capable of doing. On some level I can see that this makes sense, and yet…could we not have held workshops and offered the skills to our own people?
This may be naive and simplistic, but it seems reasonable to assume that these skills would easily be conveyed with the proper training. That we did not have to miss out so completely on what would appear to be viable jobs for the people who are looking for them. Would that have inflated the building budgets beyond reason?
Every morning the workers get off the ferry, and every evening they get back on it to go home. I can’t help but think about the guy that stands at the Five Corners in Vineyard Haven with his cardboard sign. He watches them come and go, holding his sign looking for work. Mostly construction work but I’ve a feeling he’d take anything.
by Kerry on January 31, 2010
There is one thing that Martha’s Vineyard does better than anywhere else…builds community.
Beyond the day to day civility of friends and neighbors living together on an island, this community knows who you are and how you are. Small towns can be claustrophobic for me, a city girl used to anonymity and crowds. But as we continue to walk through the endless trials of life on life’s terms, the comfort of this small community is proving to be essential to my survival.
The sustainability of a community depends on neighbors helping neighbors. Sharing tools and trades, food and spirit, friendship and empathy. I tend to walk around in my own little world, taking care of my business and family without too much thought to others, or their suffering. When I reach a little further, look a little deeper I can see that we all have something to contribute, to give to another that will help them, and ultimately help us.
Martha’s Vineyard is Paradise in the summer, and somewhere between average and far less than that in the winter. I am not specifically referencing the quiet or isolation, the loneliness that can engulf you on a gray winter’s day. This is construction and home management territory. American economy is stalled and even if you wanted to find work here in the winter you’d be out of luck. We have been adversely affected by the spiraling economy on a level that only tourism-dependent locals can understand. Our laborers are housing and construction based. We rent, sell, fix-up, winterize…houses.
To distract us and nourish us, the community has many options for food, gatherings and fellowship. There are holiday events to bolster the spirit and weekly suppers to interrupt the isolation. There are nature walks and yoga classes, evening classes in all sorts of random categories and people willing to give their time and energies towards a rich life here.
Even under the worst of circumstances, this island rallies around and comes together to support and help. A tragic illness, house fire, loss, no one is alone. Because of the size of our year round community, even if you don’t know the person directly, then you know someone who does. You know their children, husbands, wives or simply their positions…teacher, librarian, pastor, fireman. When the fund raiser is announced, we are ready. When the obstacle seems insurmountable, someone reaches out and shares the burden.
This has been a trying year for so many, and as we gather together at community meetings and events it is evident that we are still in the right place. That choosing this unconventional life will continue to reward in the places that are priceless, friends, relationships and community.
